Imposter Imposter

Alessandra asked me to put together this blog post over a month ago. And… the file sat open on my desktop since then. Staring me down. A post about imposter syndrome literally making me feel more and more like an imposter myself the more I tried to talk about it. Each time I came close to dropping it here into the website, sighing and closing my laptop in… fear? shame? what exactly kept holding me back?

As someone whose passions, education, training, and career have taken “the long and winding path” I have at times had to put extra effort into proving my skillset in absence of external stamps of approval. And, yes, some feel my varied box of tools is admirable… and many dismiss my lack of a certified paper-trail as being a perpetual-paid-amateur.

“A Jack of all trades, master of none” was set into my consciousness early in childhood. At times the title will be given as praise when someone shows a wide range of skills, other times it is used to put someone down for not having deeper knowledge in a particular field.

The phrase originated in 1592 when author Robert Greene published it dismissively referring to actor-turned-playwright William Shakespeare. If Shakespeare is subject to being labeled a multi-discipline amateur… the search for bullet-proof validation is a no-win game for any of us. To be a generalist can be dismissed for being a superficial dilettante, while a specialist can be accused of not seeing the forest for the trees.

Alessandra reassured me, “Having something you are passionate about or even a change in your path or study or not having a degree at all doesn’t make your passion less than those around you.”

She went on, “Doing something because you love it is a valid enough reason to have a voice in it. You’d be surprised who also doubt and question themselves as well. Many who suffer from imposter syndrome are those even you would least expect. Brilliant artists, scientists, and celebrities have spoken about this dilemma in their own careers.  The pressures of social media to the pressures of our career or academia reinforces it all.” 

“Sure,” I said, “But knowing someone with a stellar resume feels doubt about their credentials isn’t necessarily quieting those voices that keep me from publishing this post…”

“Well,” she countered, “It IS easy to sit here and say ‘don’t listen to them.’ Especially as someone who internally questions my voice and knowledge- but working through it is the best remedy. To indulge yourself in your joy. My own doubt stems from my own nontraditional path to how I got to where I am today. Self educating, researching, learning along the way to mentorships, I don’t have a typical natural science background. Questions like, how did you learn all this? Which are benign and fun questions but leave an underlying doubt. However, looking back, those are years of hard work. The room being used by questioning and doubting your worth can be used more wisely or should I say not given any room at all. You were going to study and do better and try harder anyways so why not celebrate your successes and experiments. We are all just human right?”

So there it is. Take the time and energy being pulled by the self-doubt and imposter syndrome symptoms and redirect it back to your passions and work at hand. The world needs more love and dedication to what inspires us. Our time is precious and fleeting, let it be curious, joyful, exploratory, and expressive. We’re all a “jack-of-all-trades” in one way or another.

• Laura Pensar, for OracleKC

Rooted to this Earth

The final element in our “What’s In Your Cabinet” DIY series is earth.  As current events continue to be tumultuous and we move into Winter in the Northern hemisphere, we’d like to focus on grounding and feeling connected to the Earth.

The earth element is the material world, physical existence, roots and ancestry, health, and resources. Honoring the earth element helps us remember to not take this embodied life for granted. Connecting to the earth gives us context, reminds us where we come from… literally.

Every culture and tradition honors the earth element in different and varied ways! 

In Ancient Greece earth was linked with many of the gods, but the personification of the Earth was the goddess Gaia, the ancestral mother of all life. In Chinese folk traditions earth is linked to Tudigong, “Lord of the Soil and Ground.” In the Yoruba tradition, Babalú-Ayé is the Orisha of earth and healing. Going down the research rabbit-hole you can find a lot of inspiration that will align with your ancestral heritage and practices. As earth is the element frequently associated with ancestors it is important to make sure that your practices line up with traditions from your lineage. When in doubt, keep it simple, keep it personal.

As literal chunks of the earth, any crystals and minerals are associated with Earth: Smokey Quartz, Obsidian, Prehnite, Chlorite Phantom Crystals and any fossils. These stones are good for grounding, protection, and healing.

Earth is embodied in Tarot decks through the suit of Pentacles. Using the Ace,  Queen, or King of Pentacles cards as a focal point are a good way to strengthen your own connection with feelings of abundance and connection to the material world around us.

There are so many ways we honor the earth; we practice grounding by making sure our bare feet touch the earth when feeling unraveled, but also didn’t realize there’s so much more to earth element than just dirt. The pandemic allowed us to reconnect with our earth elements by giving us time we never had before to garden. There has been scientific studies linking microbes within dirt, (Mycobacterium vaccae - the microbe under study) to ease anxiety and recalibrating the brain.

However, in my personal practice, I realized my nonna’s favorite way to cleanse and ground the home was through the element of salt. She would banish malocchios by salt sweeps to make sure the family was protected. Similar to cleansing by smoke, you pour salt on the ground and as you sweep from the heart of the home, out, you also catch and banish the malocchios with it - which reflects the same idea of salt lamps!

How do you honor earth element in your practice?

Radical Acceptance

As a natural science shop that specializes in taxidermy, pet memorials, and ethically sourced specimens, we (and the artists we work with) tend to talk about archetypes that embody Radical Acceptance on a regular basis. Santa Muerte helps us engage the idea of change that we have no control over directly; Persephone reminds us to find comfort in cycles and rebirth. Radical acceptance, not struggling against that which we can’t (or are choosing not to) change. Sometimes this radical acceptance is excruciating and takes constant conscious effort… other times it just flows in and makes sense and the radical acceptance becomes more like surfing; catching the right moment as it presents itself. The Oracle crew decided to share our personal engagement with Radical Acceptance as we’re experiencing it right now and some of the things we’ve found to be helpful.

Alessandra: Radical Acceptance is hard as I am my own worst critic - focusing on not getting down on myself on how much I haven't accomplished and focus on how much I have. I embrace my analytical mind with lists and journaling... as days merge into each other and I can quickly forget what I did even two seconds ago, forgetting even the happiness I got to experience within it. 

• Suggested Practice: Keep a journal. It doesn’t have to be pretty or even organized. But making note of those things that have done as well as the things that are joyful can help remind us of how much we’re dealing with and how we are growing.

Laura: Remembering to extend grace to myself for not being 100% has been important. Some loved ones have been struggling with strong depression and anxiety attacks (triggered by grief during the current crisis) and dealing with the episodes as they come up often means losing one-to-three hours here and there; frequently entire days are lost to the process of re-centering. I have had to try to let go of my frustration about the larger situation causing so much heartache. My own recovery afterwards also keeps me moving slower than I used to. (Compiling and posting this blog took me three days longer than I intended…) And on the really tough days sometimes the only thing I have been able to do is light candles. It’s a simple activity that I can focus on. Candle ritual helps me redirect the feelings of frustration and grief into feelings of compassion and thinking forward about making (what I can) better.

• Suggested Practice: Choose a calming oil or blend to rub lightly on a small candle, set an intention for yourself, those you love, and all beings to be safe, healthy, and happy. Seal in the oil by dripping melted wax from another candle over the first candle. Light your candle, sit with it as it burns.

Quinn: I am grieving all my best-laid plans. Nothing is the way I envisioned it and I am sad and angry and overwhelmed by it all. The most essential practice for me is acknowledging and fully stepping into what I’m feeling. We all grieve in our own ways, in our own time.

• Suggested Practice: In a safe and private space, say out loud anything that you are grieving the loss of. Don’t dismiss small or seemingly inconsequential things. Give voice to what you are feeling. Invite those emotions to be present, let them say what they want to say.

Alessandra: When exterior pressures do arrive, I try to face them with compassion; remembering that each of us is struggling through things differently and through different traumas. Holding space for each other is often all we need in the end. But we all have to remember that we can't do it all and holding space for ourselves should come first (telling that to myself as well). Santa Muerte teaches me constantly. She guides me towards more compassion. She helps me with the constant reminder of acceptance. I burn a candle to her not only to help me but for her to help everyone as well. Helping everyone towards accepting those old bruises and scars. Accepting that they aren't who we are, but that we can grow and learn from them. And just like the Death card in Tarot, thanking the journey for allowing us to grow from it and move on to greater things.

• Suggested Practice: Light a candle to an archetype that embodies Radical Acceptance to you. (For us at Oracle Santa Muerte has been a beneficial choice.) Place the candle somewhere visible and special where it has its own space. Light the candle while making note (silently or outloud) of what this archetype can show you about how to deal with your present circumstances.

Grief Spell Jar

Quinn: In our society, we are encouraged to move on and bottle it up or even embrace the all-tempting “let it go” mentality. And that’s all fine, but eventually it has to be seen. I think that honoring what we want to reject and suppress is how we can begin to accept it. I want to evolve past what I planned and hoped for so that I can step into something new, more powerful and aligned with my current reality.  So I made a spell jar to support me in my efforts.

• Suggested Practice: Make a spell jar for grief. Gather a small vial or jar, a small piece of paper, and any of the following correspondences that speak to you: 

  • Herbs: Lavender for relief from mental and emotional stress, Rosemary for protection, Rose petals for connection to Goddess energy and grounding, Basil for courage

  • Crystals: any Quartz variety but especially Rutilated Quartz for manifestation or Rose Quartz because of its ability to align us with our heart’s desire, Emerald to activate the heart chakra, Obsidian to encourage release, Tangerine Quartz to support the sacral chakra

  • Salt for cleansing, Dirt for grounding, Cinnamon for peace and luck

  On your small piece of paper write down your vision for how you want to live and feel every day. Remember, Spirit sometimes has even bigger plans than we can imagine, so save some room for that in your heart. Roll the paper into a scroll and place it in the vial. 

  As you fill the vial with your chosen correspondences allow yourself to experience and move any energy that feels like it remains unacknowledged. Do not judge yourself, just go through the emotions and fill your jar until you feel it is complete. Shake the jar up. Shake yourself up: jump, bounce, wave your arms. Hold the vial in your hands and say to yourself: This vial is the embodiment of the transformation taking place inside me. I honor my grief. I commit even more to myself than ever before. I have set in motion miraculous outcomes. 

  Close the experience with a moment of gratitude for your guides and for yourself. Place the vial somewhere that you will see it every day. Spend time with it in meditation. When you feel the time is right, bury the contents of the vial in the Earth as an offering for her support. 

Laura: I also am trying to make a conscious effort to include acceptance and acknowledgement of the things that I am enjoying, things that are going well, that are actually improvements in some way; to embrace that there can be good things that come with such monumental change and loss; to not feel guilty for having some things that are ok after all. Expanding my concept of Radical Acceptance to include gratitude for this healing and beauty that may not look anything like I anticipated it to be.

We three hope that you are all safe and well. We understand that so many are experiencing truly difficult and challenging change and the impact effects us all in a myriad of ways. So choose what is useful for you and let us know what Oracle can offer to support your practice.

Familiars

From pet memorials to ethically-sourced specimen, animals are the backbone of Oracle. (You know how we love puns.) But honestly, honoring nature is at the core of what we do. So this week we decided to talk about our personal animal companions and some ways that they help us feel connected to the wider world even when we are cooped up at home.

So what do we mean by the term “familiar?” A non-human companion who aids us in our endeavors. You know, your bff that loves you even when they have no idea what you’re talking about or why the heck you do what you do.

Alessandra: I don't think everyone has just one familiar. To me, they are spirits you connect with, befriend or are fated to be part of each others’ lives, who guide you. Out of all my family (all my pets), I feel like certain ones come to me to guide me or remind me of their spirit-guides when I need them most. (Guides in my family: mantis, tarantulas, cats, and ALL the plants). By spending so much time with these beautiful creatures, eventually a subconscious communication begins; which I know a lot of people would find funny when it comes to my insects and tarantulas. But I truly believe they have their own little voices and personalities!

Quinn: I have always felt very connected to animals and their energy. When I first started to explore my spirituality I had a variety of animals come forward as guides. I feel really lucky to be able to work with the energy of some of these allies especially the coyote. The same dragonfly always visits me in meditation. Even though I don’t work with them in a physical sense, honoring them and experiencing their energy through meditation has been a powerful part of my practice. 

Laura: Living near a creek, I am lucky to have a fairly wide variety of wild animals in my life on a regular basis despite living in a suburban area. Beautiful blue dragonflies, duck families, heron, coyote, fox, deer, hawks, owls, and ALL the rabbits. Various birds have a way of making a call or song at just the moment I need to hear their message. Over the years, my personal animal companions have mostly been dogs. Each one has been a unique love and shown me through different stages of my life.

Alessandra: I'm sure everyone would assume that my familiar is Niko - and he will yell about it through the computer! I got Tiger and Niko a few months apart, but Niko is my needy, nervous little boy that just needs to get involved in everything and WILL help (even when you don't need him to!) And if that doesn't sound like me, then who knows - maybe Tiger is more appropriate with the silent stares and forlorn glances that make her look like an angry kitty. But she is a big softy inside (... or might be my split personalities, hah!)

Quinn: Last fall I felt my energy shifting and I was taking a class focusing on preparing energetically for the winter months and the shadow work that comes with it. In the class we honored and studied the Goddess Persephone. Everything about her myth felt so empowering to me. I felt inspired by her fearlessness, inspired to be the Queen of my own darkness, but also stay in the light. I loved her embodiment of the cycle of life, death and rebirth. It was everything my Scorpio-Rising spirit needed… And then I fell in love with a snake. I didn't even know I was going to get my familiar when I went to the reptile show that day. I was a little shocked myself initially because I have always been a little afraid of snakes. I knew the moment I saw her that she was supposed to be with me and it felt like the perfect way to honor the Goddess that had done so much for me. Interacting with her is like a meditation. Watching Persephone shed is a beautiful reminder of the process that we are all constantly going through as we grow and evolve. It isn’t easy or comfortable. She is my beautiful reminder to trust my gut, keep it simple and have clear boundaries. 

Laura: I have always had a dog in my life. Always. Until mid 2016. For various reasons I waited to adopt again. The time wasn’t right until this past Autumn. I was helping a family member who was struggling and the stress was wearing on our entire family. I knew we needed the help of a dog and we needed it fast. Sadie was just the second dog I visited when I started the adoption search. But the minute she crawled into my arms I knew she was the one. She goes to each member in the household who needs her the most at any given moment. She just knows. It was so special to be able to bring her to work with me at Oracle, where she was our official greeter. She has also “worked” (read: napped in my lap) as I have read Tarot at various outdoor or pet-friendly festivals. When clients came to my studio for private Tarot sessions, Sadie would sit in their lap, watch as they selected their cards, then curl up and snooze while I carried on with the reading. For such a social pup, she’s weathering quarantine well. She crawls into my lap during afternoon meditation sessions and contorts into odd poses. She divides her time amongst the family members fairly evenly. And her favorite hobby is sunbathing on the back porch. She’s our alien elf… Chihuahua and Chinese Crested mix. People, not sure if she’s a dog or cat (or maybe large rodent?) have asked us “what kind of animal IS that?!” “She’s a Texas Wingless-Snow Bat,” is our reply.

Animals have a way of helping us tap into our innate natural wisdom. And when they have touched our hearts, we carry them with us forever. Just quietly sitting with an animal, simply being in each other’s presence, has a way of grounding us. So, if you currently have an animal companion in your life… take some time out to just be with them. Embrace the lessons our animal pals embody: remember to look outside, watch the birds, be fascinated by the movements of flying insects… smell the plants in your garden, breathe deeply when you open a bag of really yummy snacks, take cozy naps… chill on a nice cool floor and soak in some sun, retreat into a cozy dark cave and allow your skin to shed…

Water Practices

Continuing in our “What’s In Your Cabinet” DIY series… we wanted to talk about the various ways we use water in our personal practices.

Alessandra: As a Scorpio, I feel super connected to water. Growing up on the east coast, it was always easy to take a long walk by water and immediately feel better. Just the sound or smell of rain has a sense of calm to me. I find it to be such a healing and powerful element with endless possibilities.

Quinn: When I was a little girl I would make fairy houses by the creek where the horses drank. I think those were the first experiences where I realized water has magical energy. My moon is in Cancer and I’m Scorpio rising so basically I feel at home in the water. The energy of water is so transformative. It activates all of the senses and makes me feel like a child again. Some of the most powerful healing I have experienced was in natural hot spring water.

Laura: Water has been a subconscious draw for me much of my life. It’s not something I think of as being a strong pull for me… but when I look at it, it shows up in my practice quite a bit. As a child I would lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the counter with my feet in the sink to get in touch with some of my more challenging emotions. I actually still do this today in my kitchen (my current bathroom sink is too small).

Alessandra’s Favorite Water Practices: Taking long baths with crystals (you nail two elements with one stone! #punsonpunsonpuns!) Collecting storm water and energizing water. I use a lot of magic sprays/aroma therapy as a way to start my day or get into the zone or for reenergizing a spell. You can easily make them yourself by making tinctures - creating your spell through patience and careful crafting. You can channel certain energies or incantation into your tea, coffee, moon water, cooking, tincture,... anything really can turn into a sort of ritual with water.

Quinn’s Favorite Water Practices: Most recently I did a releasing ritual where I put the ashes of my fears and limitations onto cream daffodils and sent them down a fast-moving stream that leads to a waterfall.  In my practice, I charge water with the energies of different astrological signs and moon phases to incorporate into spells and vials as well as blessings and sacred crafts. I love collecting rainwater for prosperity and abundance spells. I consider tea to be one of the most sacred ways to work with water magically and medicinally. 

Laura’s Favorite Water Practices: During the hot summer months soaking your feet in a bath of water with fresh mint sprigs is really refreshing and cooling! In the colder months a warm-water soak with chamomile is deeply soothing and comforting. I love essential oils and creating various aromatherapy sprays or adding special blends to my humidifier (in the special essential oils area… don’t put it in the main compartment which will gunk up the works!) I love brewing teas and reading tea leaves. I filled the natural holes in my large abalone shell with small pieces of fluorite secured with silicone; I fill it with water and use it for reflective scrying. I keep a crystal decanter I inherited on my studio windowsill and charge water in the moonlight there which I then use in various charms or to water my plants when they need an extra boost. I ended up with a relatively large supply of shells from various sources for totally random reasons. I use them as vessels for everything from herb mixtures I use in rituals to candle holders. Carefully melt the bottom of your spell candle just enough so it will stick in place in the shell. Smaller shells make great chimes and charms if you carefully drill tiny holes and attach them to chain or string. Larger shells make great containers for little gifts to friends and loved-ones; fill them with tiny treasures and a special note.

Some of our Water associated items currently available:

• These sprays by Species by the Thousands: The Crystal Clearing Mist, Unlock Your Creativity Spray, Money Magic Spray.

• Abalone Shells: Small and Medium

• Ammonite Sliced Pair

• Florida Water Spray by Jane Almirall

• Agate Swan Totem

• Star of the Sea: Water Energy care package.

• New Moon Ritual Herbal Tea - Loose Blend by For Strange Women

Fire Practices

It’s a fairly chilly day here in KC! So we thought it’d be a good day to talk about how we use fire in our personal practices.

Alessandra: I don't burn or use smoke often, only according to certain rituals or rooted into my heritage rituals, which would revolve around holidays, clearing out new spaces, or when someone is feeling a malocchio. 

Quinn: With an abundance of Leo energy in my natal chart, working with the element of fire is something that was sneaking its way into my practice before I even consciously realized what I was doing. Coyote and cedar were two energies I felt connected to even before I did my research to discover that they are correspondences of the fire element. When I was a little girl I would dance and howl and play around the giant bonfires we made each year at the equinoxes. In my practice today I find dancing around the fire to be just as meaningful as it was back then. 

Laura: Many of my devotional practices involve fire in one form or another. Hestia is a primary focus of my personal practice and as such, tending the flame in both a literal and a spiritual sense are close to my heart. Growing up there were many rules of etiquette (and safety) surrounding fire that my family passed down to me. My Sagittarius sun seems to always be drawn to the flame.

Alessandra’s Favorite Rituals: I do use a lot of candle work, always having a candle going at my altar for my ancestors or certain spells. Usually carving into the candles with sigils, burning messages or wishes. Really my practice is quite fluid and I’m always adding new things that I learn or adjusting to what I feel is right for the occasion. 

Quinn’s Favorite Rituals: My favorite rituals are always literally and figuratively centered around the fire. I am a member of an informal sort of coven that meets on top of a hill in the woods of KCK. Gathering with these women in ceremony and offering our fears and insecurities to the fire has been some of the most important release work I’v done. There is something that happens which is more powerful than words when you feed what weighs you down to the flames. Similarly, I love to experience the messages that come through while gazing at any flame be it a bonfire or a candle. 

Laura’s Favorite Rituals: I started interpreting burning candles (carromancy) as soon as I was old enough to be trusted with a candle in my own room. Sometimes I dress the candles with oils and herbs. Other times I fill bottles with particular offerings, herbs, etc and use these as candle holders. I also practice fire scrying and clearing and releasing rituals with fire. I have a cast iron bean pot I purchased years ago that I use for most of the non-candle fire rituals. For the last 17 years my Buddhist practice has focused largely on Mahakala and Kinkara, both of which have fire pujas as part of their saddhanas. Burning candles as an offering of light to the world and burning herbs and various natural incenses as an offering of scented beauty are mainstays of my devotional practices.

Alessandra’s Favorite Plants/Herbs: Scents are really important to me and I feel particularly connected to burning palo santo, lavender, and writing messages on bay leaves. I’m drawn particularly to natural incenses. However, I’m studying and trying to move to using more heritage based herbs like olive leaves, etc.

Quinn’s Favorite Plants/Herbs: My favorite plants to use in fire magic are the ones my Celtic ancestors worked with including lavender, rosemary, cedar, juniper and rose petals. Making loose incense blends for different deities and planets allows me to incorporate my passion for symbolism with the magic and power of plants. Learning how to harness my fire is some of my most important work.

Laura’s Favorite Plants/Herbs: For incenses I prefer woods: cedar, pinon, juniper, occasionally sandalwood or palo santo. For herbs I prefer to use what I have grown myself: garden sage, lavender, horseradish leaves, bay leaves, and mint. I will also burn cinnamon and I am a fool for the scent of roses.

We hope this might have inspired some new ideas for your own practice. And remember! Before burning any herbs check to make sure they are not toxic to humans or to your pets. Always attend candles, especially if dressed with herbs and oils because this can make them burn erratically. Place candles, cauldrons, or other fire-holding vessels on fire-resistant surfaces such as heat-proof trivets. When working outdoors be especially careful and respectful of nature.

Do you have fire practices you’d like to share with us? We’d love to hear about them!